Anxiety Gets the Best of Me?

3 April, 2020

If you’ve never experienced anxiety in the past, you probably are feeling some form of it right now. You know… that feeling that constricts your chest, jumbles your thoughts, raises your blood pressure, makes you worry, and feel anxious and out of control? What to do? Get out some paper and a trusty ‘ole pencil.

Identify the sources of stress in your life. Get them out of your head and down on paper. Start by creating categories like: Work, Finances, Children, School work, COVID-19, Caring for your family and neighbors, etc. This is the start of unjumbling your thoughts. Don’t fret over creating the categories, you can modify them later! Once you get the categories established, start listing your worries under each category without trying to solution them.

What can you control? Identify those things that are out of your control and those that are in your control. For those that are out of your control, establish a Frame of Reference. Repaint your thoughts within this frame. Realize that this is a given reality and you will need to identify how you will need to adapt to the new environment; how you will need to change your behaviour. Then put this frame aside and turn towards the things that you can control.

Start with your attitude. Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Be thankful for the people and comforts that you have around you. Adopt a positive frame of mind. Start the day off right with positive affirmations and let them carry you through the day. Tell yourself you feel great even if you don’t; fake it ’til you make it. Say hello to folks and act courteously. This will lift your spirits and theirs.

Next, narrow your focus when you address the issues that you have categorized. For each category, circle the top three worries that are the most troublesome. Then rank the categories with an A ,B, C grading based upon importance or urgency. Start with the A categories. For each of the top three worries in the category, identify three things that you can do, (or are possible to do), to alleviate the worry. Do the same for the remaining A’s. Now that you’ve developed a high level map of the terrain that afronts you, it’s time to attack the worries. Start to further prioritize and make daily goals. At first, your daily goals should limited to the top three must do’s. Then, with a laser focus, tackle those three things, but do one thing at a time. Focusing on one thing will clear your mind of the other worries as you concentrate on the task at hand. If your thoughts start to stray towards other things on your lists, refocus yourself by telling yourself that this is what you are doing now. When you check these three things off your daily list, you will have a feeling of accomplishment. This should help alleviate some of your general anxiety, knowing that you have the power to conquer your own worries.

Information is king for those worries that we can’t control. Many times we let misinformation miscolor our frame of reference when we think about our worries. We need to eliminate this misinformation and arm ourselves with valid sources of information. Avoid information that is distributed on social media sites, as many times they are misinformed. Seek out established media sources, authoritative websites, and reliable forums. Knowing the real story will help relieve some stress. But don’t forget to limit your daily dish; information overload causes more stress.

Talk about your worries with those that you trust. Life Partners, close friends, siblings, co-workers, and therapists are all good avenues to help you sort through your worries and offer advice or empathy. The more that you can “get it out of your head”, the better. You won’t feel that you’re in it alone.

Nourish your Soul. Take the time to do the things that recharge you. Exercise, listen to music, do yoga, walk, meditate, stretch, play music, play games, read, “visit” (in a social distancing manner) with your friends.

Isolation can cause anxiety. We all need that human touch. We still need those familiar daily connections. Social distancing doesn’t need to be emotional distancing. Today we have the technology to connect with one another: Cell phones, Zooms, FaceTime, Alexa, Grandparent-specific gadgets, chats, Facebook (and all those other social media platforms that I need a ten year old to help explain their purpose). As Ma Bell used to say, “Reach out and Touch Someone”.

Stay Happy and Healthy!